Quotes

"I like seamen better."
--Valentijn

"If he can give me a drunk and a dirty, I'm going with him."
--Pinkfish

"Is anyone else doing dirty beans?"
--Pastel

"He whipped me and chained me into submission."
--Ladydaze

--Seattle Mudmeet 2001, courtesy of Rodion.

(cre) Fogbat: I'm impressed, my latest attempt at code had 159 lines before the first error.
(cre) Fogbat preens
(cre) Sasquatch: 159 lines of comments?
(cre) Fogbat mutters at sasquatch

--Sasquatch finds Fogbat out. Submitted by Siel.

[conversation killed by carmine (with a call)]

--The ultimate crime. Submitted by Crilith.

[one] Neoey: where can I get a crystal ball?
[one] Hufte: Off a crystal man.

(cre) Saist pokes DB just to make sure... hmm maybe he comes with a creamy centre
(cre) Dogbolter comes with a creamy centre. ;-)
(cre) Siel: Roight.. there goes my cream addiction.
( Bastard Creators from Hell) Dogbolter Dot Com: Wooo! Saist made me come!

--Creamily Delicious Dogbolter; submitted by Dasquian

(cre) Dogbolter: I'm always soft!

--Sensitively submitted by Siel

ShaNa wisps: how come the dugeon of the palace is not on the map?
ShaNa wisps: also why does it go down forever
PncessAmy wisps: You're complaining about it going down forever?
Hufte wisps: I wish I'd meet something that would go down forever.
PncessAmy wisps: I'd pay.

(cre) Signe: most doctors my age are dead

--Getting an appointment must be hell.

Lamech wisps: pls some1 tell me how long it takes for your bumps to settle down
Fry wisps: depends on how much they were rubbed

(cre) Tannah: No, dear. Just stuffing her full of melons and squeezing periodically. :)

--Foreplay for Tannah

Taffyd d'Licious tells you: Oh no.. that would involve getting hot and sweaty...and guys don't get hot and sweaty with other guys.. not until after the first date. ;p

--Taffyd tells it like it is

[one] Nard: why can't you witches just go back to worshipping head? :(
[one] Nard: erm headology :)

(cre) Dogbolter: Buggery is the entrance exam, so to speak, to Guilds.
(cre) Drakkos: Entrance and exit exam.
(cre) Dogbolter: I wonder what you have to do to get into Waterways...

(Wizards) Mortanius wisps: dont need a spell stick em in your pants for a while

--Remember to polish the staff with a knob on its end. Submitted by Rodion.

DcDhol wisped: Being a slanty-eyed, small-penised, passive person I am ya know.

(cre) Rywfol: Is a camel that can walk in both directions a palindromedary?

Agnes Nitt exclaims: I miss singing... not Nanny's songs... real music!
You sing to Agnes Nitt.
Agnes Nitt opens the cottage door.
Agnes Nitt leaves west.
Agnes Nitt closes the cottage door.

--Tannah has problems keeping her witches in line

(cre) Drakkos sniffles. I am not a monster.
(cre) Rodion: Come, Drakkos. Hide in my cathedral.
(cre) Drakkos: The bells! The bells!
(cre) Drakkos lopes off after Rodion.
(cre) Pure: yu gotta hump?
(cre) Drakkos glares at Pure. No. We will have dinner first.

[conversation killed by talking about code on cre. <rhinehold>]

(cre) Dishrag didnt notice that Jeremy had come.
(cre) Puckhades peers at Dishrag
(cre) Dishrag: Egads!
(cre) Puckhades: let him do it in private I say :)

Entranced, Presto's wand perks up and looks around for someone to Believe in its greatness.
Presto's wand shudders suddenly and sharply. It flashes an intense octarine for just a moment and the shuddering subsides.

--Tannah fiddles with Presto's Wand

(cre) Shrike: i keep my log in the refrigerator during sex.
(cre) Saffra: Doesn't it shrink in the cold?
(cre) Shrike: no, the cold makes it stay very firm!
(cre) Shrike: and it keeps the nuts from going all over the place.

(cre) Raffi: after awhile I wanted to jump into house, become a guy, have sex with her...just to get it over with.

--Raffi's take on Reality TV

Minister Rywfol The Clownboat says: define tofu > You look up a word > No definitions for tofu.
Minister Rywfol The Clownboat says: Even a dictionary cannot digest tofu :)

--Rywfol the culinary critic

Tax wisps: I'll erect wherever I please!

(cre) DantheMan: I'm not good at staying up all night...
(cre) Dogbolter: Try viagra.
(cre) Dogbolter: I'm guessing you'll ony need a half tablet.

(cre) Awful: A survey showed that among smokers, 4 out of 5 men who tried camels prefered women.

[immortal killed by bandit <Ram> bandit <Ram> bandit <Ram> bandit <Ram> bandit <Ram> bandit <Ram> bandit <Ram> bandit <Ram> bandit <Ram> bandit <Ram> bandit <Ram> bandit <Ram>]

--He asked for it...

Hurukan b'Rain tells Vermillion d'Deridex, Tarzan and you: I take sex more seriously than death :P

--His reason was that death generally only happens once.

(cre) Lucifer: Pure ate my balls!

(The Dark Side) Tannah Wooten: "Lawks! *ow* I am but a *stabstabstab* feeble old seller *thump* of apples. Pray take [that! and that! and that, too!] and eat one, dear*ow*ie!"

--Submitted by Siel as an example of Tannah's witchy ways

(cre) Zoro: Pinkfish are you here?
(cre) Hobbes: He's always here in spirit.
(cre) Dogbolter: Rum, mainly...

Dryade d'Deridex asks you: that thing in my mind about lots of massage oil and nakid fit boys... ermm... *blush* just between us isnt it ;)?

--Siel thinks not. :)

(newbie) Arkhan: Is there any way to make love in this world?

--He'll get along just fine here.

Dishrag tells Spiro Agnew and you: :P but Taffyd would be sexy in knee-high boots, leather, and a cape.

Callonis tells Ezh and you: For future reference: Descartes said, "I think, therefore I am." Descleavage said, "I get nooky, therefore I am happy."

--I assure you, this was in context.

(Two) Ibblek wisps: I can never remember what's after the thrusting

The beautiful female captive knees Aiur Brainchild in the groin and runs off.
Aiur's worm sags and flops.

--That's generally what happens, yes. Submitted by Twiggy.

Provost Terano Grolschdrinker says: man.. you are really good at breakx0ring code.. :P

--Terano shows his faith in me

Dasquian: You've obviously been to the Tom Lansdale School of Porn...Pool! I mean pool!!!

--Submitted by Carmine, from a London mudmeet.

You call that a warm New York welcome? I always thought this was a warm New York welcome. [flips the bird and makes rude noises]

--Terry Pratchett, May 15, 2001 signing in NYC

The 2001 Toronto Mudmeet!

You guys are just sitting on the stupid-boy couch, aren't you?
--PncessAmy

You're pretty good at sucking, aren't you?
--Talen to Noda

What?! *You* showed more cleavage, and *I* got better service!
--Jeka to Noda

We should ask them how much they are.
--Sibyl, about the 12-year-old girls walking by.

Saffra: Hey, I'm holding a large piece of wood here.
Vermillion: It's a good night for you then, isn't it?

I can't eat Chinese food, there's too much LSD in it.
--Jeka eats at all the right restaurants.

Janus: What's your name?
PncessAmy: Oh, my name's easy.
Janus: I thought that was your middle name.

It tastes like a Christmas tree.
--PncessAmy

If you did it hard enough to penetrate, then yes.
--Sibyl to Jeka

When I do it, I pull so hard the head comes off.
--Noda (ouch!)

(cre) Exote pats archana on the head.
(cre) Exote pats archana on the head.
(cre) Exote: Gnah.
(cre) Exote hates Zmud.
(cre) Archana bites Exote's hand off
(cre) Exote worries.
Exote tells you: Well, there goes my sex life.

--Submitted by Archana

Dogbolter wisps: I could do the whole domain ;-)

--Submitted by Dishrag as evidence of Dogbolter's qualifications.

Talen tells you: Synnove de Solis says: Buggery coverty wizzies lewdly spying on helpless feminine innocents.

--I hate it when that happens.

Twiggy d'Licious asks Siel Wyrd, Dogbolter Dot Com and you: DB has red man-breasts?

Gruper wiggles his cleavage at you.
Gruper exclaims to you: Manboobs the size of small manboobs!

--What is it with cres and manboobs?

(cre) Leeda: is this a dream? Eldric is stranded somewhere??
(cre) Katrina: I could strand him. 'Twouldn't be hard.
(cre) Drakkos rubs his eyes. No, that doesn't say you can 'straddle him'.
(cre) Saffra: Still wouldn't be hard.
(cre) Katrina: No, Drakkos. I reserve that honour for you and you alone.
(cre) Leeda: well, whatever turns you on Drakky!
(cre) Saffra quickly finds something else to think abuot.
(cre) Twiggy flashes her Braille at Saffra.
(cre) Drakkos straddles Saffra.
(cre) Drakkos: Braille T-shirt?
(cre) Katrina: Okay. Am I the only one not in on the whole braille thing?
(cre) Saffra: Oh, do I get to be a Senior now?
(cre) Drakkos runs his fingers over Twiggy's chest. Hrm... just two full stops.
(cre) Twiggy: Nipples are Braille for love, Katrina!
(cre) Saffra: Hey, I was reading that!
(cre) Twiggy: Hey, this is not a public library :P
(cre) Drakkos: You only get to be senior for Oral Sex.
(cre) Twiggy: .... oh, alright, I admit it is.
(cre) Drakkos: . o O ("That's when you're knackered and you just talk about it.")
(cre) Dasquian: I thought oral sex was phonesex for ages :p
(cre) Drakkos: When I was young, I actually believed it *was* when you were tired and just talked about it. :-P
(cre) Twiggy: Yes.. otherwise, you're actually having it.

--Just another night...

(newbie) Sexgoddess enters Discworld for the first time!
(cre) Rodion: Besides, she's offering sex for money. This might be an avenue I want to pursue.
(cre) Leeda: is anyone with sexgodess? :)
(cre) Rodion: I don't have $50 :-(

--Rodion gets the shaft (...or doesn't)

(cre) Leeda: > [BUSY] Phinoxe tells you: you can suck my dick
[...]
(cre) Leeda: gee, whats the guess what freak is phinoxe
(cre) Leeda: [BUSY] Freak tells you: to suck your balls

--Don't you all want to be liaisons now?

(cre) Arienne: Shredding requires lots of distortion... wanking just requires lots of showing off.

--Submitted by Carmine

(cre) Shrike: I'm too sexy for pants.
(cre) Wobin: Shrike. Please. No mental imagery of you below the waist Thankyousoveryveryverymuch.
(cre) Shrike: what about a mental image of pantsless twiggy? More appealing I'm sure. :)
(cre) Saffra: Bad House Husband!
(cre) Shrike: I'm bad because I like to think about my wife without pants on? :)
(cre) Shrike: er... that came out wrong.
(cre) Wobin whispers as an aside to Saffra: I bet he's making a pretty penny selling her photos on the web!
(cre) Shrike: it's still accurate in either sense, but it wasn't what I meant. :P
(cre) Saffra: You're bad for wanting other people to think about your pantsless wife!
(cre) Shrike: well, i can hardly blame them.

--Shrike, Husband Of The Year

Hurukan b'Rain tells you: Hi, I'm the human porno magazine :P

A'Tuin wisps: I can divide by zero. I just don't want to.

[Droves leaves Discworld]

Dogbolter Dot Com tells you: tout le monde, que parlent Francais sont grumpy bastards.

--Dogbolter takes on the French

Provost Terano .NET smears you in taffydj00ce.

[Woodvlinder enters Discworld (xxx.yyy.zzz) Duplicate: woodkonijn]
(cre) Dasquian peers suspiciously at Woodie and Woodie.
(cre) Pinkfish: You have two woodies?

--Dasquian, a man of many talents?

Akula of the Flames smokes the badly-rolled cigarette (lit).
Akula of the Flames smokes the badly-rolled cigarette (lit).
Akula of the Flames smokes the badly-rolled cigarette (lit).
Akula of the Flames smokes the badly-rolled cigarette (lit).
Magistrate PncessAmy d'Deridex says: Hand over the drugs, I've got political decisions to make. :P

--He didn't inhale though, did he?

Carmine Sanguina tells you: Yeah, in a bit - I'm too having fnu to be not alaaonline.

--Carmine is not drunk. I know this because she told me. Repeatedly.

Dodobird has died for the last time. All mourn his passing.

You tell Terano .NET: You mainly lie on your back and wave your legs around a lot.
Terano .NET tells you: Hmmm.. do I have to? :P
You tell Terano .NET: And you do crunch things that are sort of like crunches but not really.
Terano .NET asks you: Curious: Wow, what kind of job is that, presidential intern?

--I try to explain pilates to Terano and Curious

--Communing with the animals

Terano .NET exclaims to you: All your virginity are belong to us!

Nas wisps: i just read saffra's qoute page.. :P
Nas wisps: give me an insight to disc creators
Twiggy wisps: What kind of insight, Nas? ;)
Nas wisps: the purpose of creator having their private channel is to keep disc a family mud :P

--You're just jealous. Submitted by Twiggy.

(cre) Eight: heh.... Rock and Roll is Evil! Studies show that 98% of teenage boys listen to Rock and Roll and
(cre) Eight: 98% also masturbate. You can reach only ONE conclusion.
(cre) Dogbolter: 2% are deaf.

(Two) Jabberwocky's wispy voice comes from the bulletin board [ 62 notes ], saying: I suck at anything that involves money
(Two) Elessar's wispy voice comes from the bulletin board [ 62 notes ], saying: Prostitution?
Mairead's wispy voice comes from the bulletin board [ 62 notes ], saying: Not sure....maybe you could light fires that way in the old days?

--What unfortunate timing, Part III...Submitted by Archana.

(cre) Lucifer: Any ideas why a short sword DcDhol had turned itself into a bottle opener?
(cre) Lucifer: He denied that it could be a message from Alcoholics Annonymous, too.

--Submitted by Archana

Pinkfish's wispy voice comes from the bulletin board [ 78 notes ], saying: I hate it when I lay myself.

--Still submitted by Archana

(Assassins) Spindle wisps: it took you an hour?
(Assassins) Spindle wisps: takes me about 20min

--Submitted by Dishrag as something not to brag about.

--Hey, at least it wasn't Thursday. Submitted by Woza.

Dek: And now you've Danced With Dek.

Pepsi: You don't have to be a crack whore now and sell your body for drugs, really.
Me [confused]: But I was an art major.

Belcar: I never used chatup lines.
Carpanag: Not true, I remember you used one with me.
Belcar: What was it?
Carpanag: I don't remember. I was pissed.

Rwyfol: Diane Sykes...what an unfortunate name to spoonerize. She'd be Cyan Dykes and that's an image I don't need.

--I go to the UK and I meet some mudders and they stun me speechless.

(cre) Vashti: Have you met my parents?
(cre) Terano: Yes, they seemed quite charming!
(cre) Terano: Your dog is ugly though.
(cre) Vashti: That was me.

--Submitted by Kili

Leaf wisps: Damn! Just spent last 4 hours filling in an application form so It can go in first post collection and I've not got a sodding envelope! Now I feel like a tit! :)
Merrick wisps: heh
Delta wisps: You feel l ike a... err... hmmm
Gorak wisps: i take it your from england leaf?
Motoko wisps: A tit?
Presto wisps: I feel like a tit too
Presto wisps: but I'll settle for some Oreos

(cre) Revol: just slap yur penis on the table and shout "Can you take *THIS*?"

(cre) Tape: I AM CACNER FREE BICTHES. colonsocopies suck whe n youre 19 but the drugs tehy give you makeu p forti

--Tape gets the good drugs

[Dlsss: You call that BugFixing? Bug Fixing? Bug Fixing!?! Good LAWKS lad! That's more like bug flirtation than fixing. Wot yer trying to do? Ask it out on a date? Flatter it with yer wily ways to get wot yer want it to do out of it? Good lawks, just fix the durn problem and get over it.]

[Wobin: You call that exploring? By all that's holy, woman! I've seen geriatric centipedes with fifty-nine broken legs and osteoporosis explore new and undiscovered lands faster and better than that! There are gads and gads of acres of newly undiscovered unplaytested areas for you to discover and you womble about AM and Lancre like clicking your heels together and wishing that "There's no place like home!" Get exploring woman! And be quick about it!]

[Dlsss: You call that inspiration? Inspiration? I've seen a rabid monkey chasing a banana skin down the street more inspiring than that twoddle yer' harping on about! Lawks, secret spaces, yer think those spaces that are so secret are secret when in reality it's the main room of the Mended Drum! Code something inspiring to visit and don't forget some nice flowers while yer about it. None of the CWC one room, while planning a window back to the drum I'll thank you very much!]

--Dueling mocks!