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Note #62 by Braindeed at Thu Jan 3 22:35:16 2002 on board frog Title: Piano Man To the tune of "Piano Man" by Billy Joel
It's five o'clock on a weekday, I'm beginning to feel a cold sweat; There's a C-64 sitting next to me, It's the backbone of telstra.net. I said, "Come, send the world an ICMP, I don't really care where it goes; If you cross the Pacific I'll feel just terrific, But if it works, nobody knows." Da, da da, de de da, Da da, de de da, da da. Chorus: Send us a ping, O Pacific Link, Send us a ping tonight, For we're all in the mood for a minute when You hold more than ten kilobytes. Now, John, our beloved Prime Minister Has an Internet stance far from love, But he's quick with a frown if the link should fall down While he's mailing to whitehouse.gov. He says, "Bill, I believe you've been screwing us, You're stifling our country's success; Well, I'm sure that Australia deserves a bit More than 32 Mbps." Da, da da, de de da, Da da, de de da, da da. Chorus Now, you might think it's unacceptable, But there's no need for you to know why; 'Cause if you phone Telstra, they'll say "Go to hell, sir," And probably blame MCI. And over in south California, As the sysadmins slowly forget That they've shared more than five thousand coffees, Still, it's better than minding the net. (Instrumental) Chorus There's some pretty high traffic for Saturday, And it's sort of refreshing to see That cpe4-hssi1-0's Alive more than one time in three. And the link feels like a casino, As the roulette wheel once again froze, Yes, there's 36 red and black numbers, it's said, But they're 36 million zeroes. Da, da da, de de da, Da da, de de da, da da. Chorus Bd
Note #31 by Virge posted at Mon Jan 21 20:21:16 2002 [Role-playing Board] Title: "Re:#2 Spontanious roleplaying" On Mon Jan 21 19:15:10 2002, Stoze wrote: >On Mon Jan 21 18:30:55 2002, Cody wrote: >> spontaniously... >Think of the fun you could have if you role-played "spontaneously" >too! Virge begins role-playing Spontanius, a Spartan with a morbid fear of misspellings. He was named Spontanius Coitus by his parents for reasons he could never fathom. Virge
Note #92 by Rhinehold posted at Fri Feb 1 15:32:45 2002 [Commonroom Board] Title: "Why no work gets done by DW creators." (cre) Dogbolter: Terano? (cre) Terano: Aye? (cre) Dogbolter: I will smack Dasquian for 3 of your Australian dollars. (cre) Terano: I see.. (cre) Terano: So that's.. a pound then? (cre) Terano: That's a great deal! (cre) Terano: Dasquian, can you loan me a pound? (cre) Dasquian: Sure (cre) Dasquian: hey (cre) Terano: Great, I owe a pound to Dogbolter, be a dear and give it to him.. (cre) Dogbolter: Done. Dasquian, I want your nose, and one pound. (cre) Terano: [PS: I want 10% off for delivery] (cre) Dasquian: Hooray, I am aster courier (cre) Dogbolter: OK, I owe you 10c (cre) Terano: Is anyone willing to beat up Dogbolter for 10c? (cre) Lucifer: Yep. (cre) Dogbolter: Dasquian? (cre) Terano: Sweet, Dogbolter, can you give that 10 cents to Lucifer? (cre) Terano: PS: Lucifer, you owe me a cent. (cre) Dogbolter will smack Lucifer for a cent. (cre) Terano: Deal. (cre) Terano: You owe me a tenth of a cent. (cre) Lucifer: Bummer! (cre) Dogbolter: Will Kaea lend it to you? (cre) Kili: I will nuke your choice of continent off the face of the earth for a mere $2! (cre) Kili: (Plus expenses.) Rhinehold - not admitting he started it by suggesting a creator punch someone in the face for him. Not at all...
Note #88 by Occula posted at Mon Feb 4 23:20:26 2002 [Frog Board] Title: "All Along the Art Tower" All Along the Art Tower "There must be some way down from here," said the Bursar to the Dean. "There's too much intrusion, "I can't count all the beans. Licenced thieves, they swipe my cash, Witches eye my staff, None of them respect my sash my senior status makes them laugh." "No reason to go jumping," the Dean, he gruffly said, "There were many here among us, who Ridcully make lose their heads. But, you and I, we know better, And this is not our fate, So, let us go to supper now, The morning's getting late." All along the art tower Ravens kept the view While all the wizards came and went Scrawny students, too. Far below in Sator Square a large stomach did growl. Two Chancellors were approaching, A cabbage began to howl. -- O. & Bobby D.
Note #59 by Storm posted at Thu Feb 7 06:26:03 2002 Title: "Filk - The Assassin" Filk - The Assassin (To the tune of Close to you, Appallogies to Burt Bacharach) Why does DEATH, suddenly appear, Every time, you sneak near? I can see, we'd rather be, Out of view... Witches soon, fall down from the sky, When you aim, your bow high? We can see, they're going to be, Cross with you. On the day that you arrived, The p-k's got together, And decided to inhume your char so new... So they sprinkled dwarf bread in your food, And powdered bloat dust in your coffee too. That is why, all the thieves in town, Hide away, underground. They can see, they'd rather be, Somewhere new... The next day that you arrive, They're going to get together And with their blades they'll run your chest right though Then they'll maim your favourite Binky doll, And steal your only chocolate figgin too. That is why, all the guards in town, Hide inside, not a sound. I can see, they'd rather be, Elsewhere too... Much like me (Much like me), They like to be, Out of view... Aaaaaaarrgghh... out of view. Aaaaaaarrgghh... somewhere new. Aaaaaaarrgghh... elsewhere too. Aaaaaaarrgghh... out of view.
Note #52 by Twiggy posted at Tue Feb 12 23:36:44 2002 [Fluff Board] Title: "An Ode to Ibuprofen" An Ode to Ibuprofen (To the can-can tune popularised by 'Spectacular Spectacular') Some years ago, in days of yore, The citizens were sick and sore. "We're feeling quite inflammatory The drugs don't work and nor do we." The mighty GlaxoSmith & Klein Responded to the people's whine. They made a drug to help the ill And kept it in a little pill.... [Chorus] I-bu-pro-fen It makes your headache disappear. I-bu-pro-fen It will make you clap and cheer. Your rheumatism fades away With no neuralgia for today! The Ibuprofen stops your pain: In minutes, you'll feel right as rain. Your dental aches and tension cramps Can all be treated with these tabs. But it won't stop your hair going grey 'Cause it's a drug, not a toupe. [Chorus] If you're in seventh grade at school Then this drug isn't suitable. And careful with your allergies, Your stomach, heart and both kidneys. Don't operate machinery; Don't take in late-stage pregnancy; No more than six within one day And see your doc if Symptoms stay! [Chorus] x 2. -- Twiggy, wooooooo
Note #46 by Virge posted at Wed Feb 13 01:10:35 2002 [Equality Board] Title: "Re:#1 Who?" Carefully concealed behind his screen, Virge Goodall observes this rarely seen spectacle. It starts with the female performing her usual provocative ploy. On Tue Feb 12 21:54:31 2002, Jasmin wrote: > who's the alpha-male around here? The immediate disinterested response of one of the older members of the community is more or less expected. On Tue Feb 12 21:55:33 2002, Terano wrote: > For which 'social group'? Now the first contender struts up, hoping to beat some of the stronger males to the target. Note the outrageous display of bravado that he flourishes before her. On Tue Feb 12 22:06:04 2002, Tggm wrote: > Obviously me. > > TgGm dElAcRoIx Of ThE aNcIeNt AnD tRuLy OrIgInAl SaGeS oF tHe UnBrOkEn > CiRcLe, ThE fOuRtH lEvEl WiZaRd, DrUg DeAlEr, MeMbEr Of ThE aPeX cLuB, > wOmBlE's FrIeNd, SeNtImEnTaLiSt, UnCoBbLeD, cItY eXpLoReR, > pHoNeTiCaLlY eDuCaTeD, eRrAnD rUnNeR, pOlItE sHoPpEr. But he's not going to get it all his own way. Here comes a seasoned campaigner. Forget the embellishments, this male is trying the KISS principle. On Tue Feb 12 23:56:04 2002, Tomas wrote: > Im sparticus! Well, it looks like we may have to wait for a little while folks. She's not responding too well to the first couple of contenders. I think if she's patient we may see some serious rumbling in the jungle between the males. I'm surprised we haven't seen Tggm's competative twin brother Maelin looking for some action. Virge Goodall (Epsilon Minus Semi-Moron)
Note #45 by Dogbolter posted at Tue Feb 26 16:21:21 2002 [CWC Board] Title: "Re:#5 Akito at the Brothal" Do you have a FILTHY mind? Why would we code a brothel? Isn't a brothel a place where, for a small fee, women can be purchased to perform lewd, and indecent acts of the FLESH? Where, for less than twelve dollars you can get an all over massage with a bar of goat flavoured soap? An establishment outlawed in every sane area due to the fact that for 19.99 you can get Long Time Dollah Love with Bendy Cindy? A whorehouse? A boudoir of bosoms? Is that what you think we do?!?!?!?!? This is a brothal. A place to buy broth. A SOUP kitchen. Nourishing foods for only a few pennies. Not a harbour of lust, a bay of delinquecy, a repository of suppositories! OUT FOUL FIEND, and wash your mouth! Db Ps, yes, the soup is too strong. I will sort.
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